Men Are Pants

Seven People Hanging on a Rope

Seven people were hanging on a rope under a rescue helicopter, six men and a woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to let go, otherwise they were all going to die.

They were not able to decide which person had to go. Then, the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up things. Not only for her husband and kids, but for men in general, and she would make this one last sacrifice, asking nothing in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping for her!

A mysteriously attractive woman

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.

When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room.

The Box

The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5 year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and said, " This is for you, Mummy. " The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. " Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package? "

She had tears in her eyes and said, " Oh, Mummy, it' s not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full. "

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.