Men Are Pants

As with life, technology moves on at a pace to outstrip even the heartiest of souls! One day the craze is all about mobile phones and the power they seem to hold over our day to day agenda, but it seems the trend has shifted and the current way to organize our social network is with the phenomena that we all seem to be participating in on a daily basis. Let’s face it; you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t know what I was talking about! It’s the all new singing and dancing social networking tool that has taken over the world. Commonly known as Facebook, this medium apparently has in excess of 350 million users, so the options and possibilities are endless!. And to top it all you can even get it through your new top of the range mobile phone! Sound familiar?? Or ALL too familiar????

You comment on a status or just press the ‘like’ icon and before you know it your inbox is filled with new mail messages about that same post from a load of random people you have never heard of, who also felt the need to comment! And it doesn’t end there either! The e-mails keep coming about random things you apparently showed an interest in at some point in your life, quizzes you have been invited to take, farms you might want to run, games you might want to play, groups you might want to join (Men Are Pants being one of those e-mails I hasten to add, and one to be treasured not deleted!) and before you know it, you need a personal assistant just to sieve through your Facebook correspondences –We know we can turn off the mail updates but then we might just miss something and a true aficionado wouldn’t want to do that! And of course there are those people who decide to update their status at least 50 times a day, and whilst you have the power to ‘unfriend’ them, once in a while they post something so hilarious it is worth all the other bad posts and gives them brownie points for the future. You get to friend people who you haven’t seen for years, people you are not even sure if you like but their name seems to ring a bell, and of course you get to hunt down ex lovers and see what they have done with their lives since you cancelled the wedding so many years earlier! Result!!! Or, result????

Now I admit I am a Facebook junkie of the highest degree. I log on daily basis as part of my routine and not only does it give me access to friends across the globe, but it also gives me an insight into their day to day routine and what mischief they are causing! Sounds harmless enough, but to a singleton with far too many ex lovers as ‘friends’ this could also be seen as a tool of personal torture! I mean who really wants to see their ex, who professes to still love and respect you, caught conveniently on camera with a new lady? It’s enough to push a girl over the edge isn’t it? So ladies please heed my advice and proceed with caution! Facebook is meant to be about enjoyment and sharing, not a way to persecute you and that could mean that various steps need to be taken in order to minimize its impact! It is addictive and can take over your normal day to day life and above all it can cause more harm than good, so please please handle with care.

Really, how many of you still have your ex as one of your ‘top’ friends and despite yourself you can’t help checking out his movements on a daily basis? I know I am guilty of this sin, but it doesn’t make it any easier when you see on your monitor what you have been dreading since the day it was over. The fact he has moved on. And to top it all he is no longer mourning the loss of the one person he said he couldn’t live without. It’s easy to say that the best course of action is to terminate the contact, and any good friend would give you this advice, but the ‘block’ button seems further from your fingertips than ever before. I mean what harm can really come of checking out what he is up to? It’s just being curious after all, isn’t it???? Absolutely not!! My best friend has been trying to tell me for an age that before Facebook I would never know what he is up to, so why put myself through the misery? Is it because I still love him , or is it because I miss the day to day life we shared together, or is it just because I can???? I’m not sure anymore, but what I do know is that whilst I can see what he is doing, and who it is with (She’s young enough to be your daughter by the way!) the whole healing process is not going too well.

In reality a lot of things can be badly misinterpreted on Facebook, as the posting is unique to the postee and the replies are unique to experiences and feeling of those who comment, but this aside, it all comes down to your personal interpretation and nothing he says is going to change that! Problem is you also get to see a lot of third part material that just appears on your listed friends profile page and no matter how hard you try not to look, you are soon bombarded by photos & comments posted by inconsequential bystanders. That’s when it really seems to get messy. I’ve seen comments about myself, made very tongue in cheek, by ridiculous people who didn’t think I’d ever get to see their content – Thank you for your interest, but in real terms you know nothing about me so keep your opinions to yourself! It does your head in and can be very upsetting, but as a girl who is curious & heartbroken I press the button and to hell with the consequences! Not a great plan of action sometimes I admit, but hey that is just me!

So let’s get real and to the point (I’ll get off my soap box now!) and say ladies your destiny is in your own hands and whilst there is a lot of hurt that can be caused by becoming addicted to this medium of management, it’s time to take hold of your future and stop. It’s time to restrict your page views of your ex and to start concentrating on you.

This is your time and whether or not it is apparent to you, in fact the universe is unfolding as it should. Use Facebook to share with your friends and potentially make new ones. To do something you enjoy with your time. If this sounds like hard work then perhaps the only course of action is press the ‘Unfriend’ & ‘Block’ keys consecutively (Possibly when drunk to numb the initial pain!) and stop putting yourself through the daily torment. And the plus side is when you do meet someone new (Or even a potential someone new) you can check them out and maybe even friend them! Or if you are really lucky you might just find they have an open profile so you can check them out, see their profile and friends before you make a decision on whether you want to know more, or not! Use it to your advantage and not to your detriment!

Whatever your course of action, I can but wish you well on your journey. As for me I’m going to sign off now and spend a bit of time with my NBF so I can check out what has been happening around the globe in the last hour or so. And obviously I’m not going to check out my ex’s profile at all whilst I peruse the pages, but I might just see if that cute guy from the gym is listed. Now what was his name again…..