Men Are Pants

It’s the one question we insist on asking, but know men are not qualified to answer! It’s the biggest no-no of any relationship (comparable only with “Do you find my best friend attractive??!) and yet we insist on taking the plunge, without considering the consequences! We believe in the need for honesty and yet are also sceptical by the response we receive. I mean, men are renowned for their insincerity and excuses! Is it their fault, we ask ourselves, or are they really just trying to tell us what we want to hear? Is it any wonder we don’t believe them?

Men live in daily dread of those three simple words. They break out in a sweat and start having palpitations at the mere thought. They know if they take up the challenge the question will be asked, and if they turn us down we call a ‘Sex Ban’ for at least a week. It’s a hard one to call! Especially considering they think about the need to use their main brain at least once every 3-minutes!

Let's go shopping!

Can you see him panic? Have you already called the ban?

Men can buy their entire wardrobe for the year ahead in under 8-minutes from one shop! Can you imagine a woman being faced with the same challenge? Looking back in time this is largely to do with the practical caveman wired into the depths of the male brain. Men believe that the basic A-B route of practicality should be a short and simple process. Women on the other hand find shopping a way to exploit their creative side. Women have always had to dress to attract attention and not scare it away.

A recent radio survey revealed that the average man could last approx. 30 minutes clothes shopping with a woman. Best case scenario was only just over an hour! And as for us females well we could spend all day and probably most of the night completing the same activity! Is it really any wonder men are called the opposite sex I wonder!!??

Men also struggle getting their brains around the correlation of size and importance, as far as women’s clothes go. This factor alone is amusing, ironic and pretty damn astonishing as they are always peering at the man next to them at the urinals and are largely driven by their penis dimensions and use! The little fella downstairs rules their life, destiny & daily and thought patterns! And they wonder why we get upset when they try to increase our proportions????!!!!!!

Is it purely because they continually exaggerate about size and can’t get their heads around the fact that the difference between a size 12 and a size 22 can be both insulting and hurtful. Surely it must be a complement in some way???!!! It does explain a lot though about the male brain!! You’d think that with the ‘size’ factor in common this is somewhere a man could understand the workings of a female mind. Or maybe not…..

So be fair even if they do get a grip of the size idea, they still can’t really win. If the size is slightly bigger or smaller than we actually take we believe they think we’re fat and start to put plans into place for our next diet. We may be busy over-analysing whilst they are thinking that they have scored some kind of brownie points for ‘attention to detail’. And let’s be honest they really don’t have an eye for attractive detail, unlike our girlfriends!

So lets face it girls, it’s a fact of life that most men can’t buy you clothes that fit, get erotic thoughts about the changing rooms and don’t understand the difference between 10 tops of the same colour, even though they are very obviously different in shape, size fit and shade!

So the morale of this story is, if you want an honest opinion when clothes shopping then take your best friend and trust their opinion but balance it with how you feel. If you want a row with your other half and really can’t be bothered with satisfying his sexual urges for the next week / month / year (delete as appropriate!), then take your boyfriend. It could always be a cunning ploy to dump him or alternatively an even more cunning way to get him to pay, in an attempt to make up for the catastrophic mistake of grimacing when contemplating your question!

Shopping is a girl thing and of course you look great. You don’t need a man to tell you that.